Whether you see yourself on a spiritual path or not, there’s a powerful way to raise your experience of life. It consists of a single question, ‘Who am I?” If you ask this question seriously, it has a tremendous impact. You might find yourself making a personal breakthrough, turning a corner in your life, or even experiencing a transformation.
My own breakthrough is a case in point. It occurred in the early Eighties when I was practicing medicine as a thirtysomething endocrinologist in Boston. I had high hopes and was driven by ambition. I left the house so early and came home so late that on some days I barely saw my wife and our two young children. To help ease my exhausting schedule of hospital rounds and a full patient load, I got into the habit of smoking cigarettes and having a drink when I finally got home.
This was my story, and as with everyone, I thought my story was who I am. Looking in the mirror, I saw reflected the labels that were attached to my story: Indian male, physician, father and husband, careerist, money-maker, etc. I answered to those labels and identified with them.
Things could have gone on this way forever. Most people don’t break free of their story, even when it contains pages and whole chapters that are painful. I was fortunate to feel something I couldn’t push under the carpet, an inner feeling of emptiness, which also came with a sense that I wasn’t in control. My story and the labels that came with it had taken on a life of their own. They were in control, not me.
This was a simple insight, and countless people have had the same. They take a look at themselves and say, “Who is this person?” Psychologists might call it a moment of dissociation. You feel detached, unmoored, somehow removed. Taken far enough, you might see the person in the mirror as totally unreal.
The experience is uncomfortable at best, devastating at worst. But it offers a unique opportunity. You can go inside and ask, “Who am I?” If taken seriously, in those three words, you start seeking the real you, your true self. Looking back, when I started asking “Who am I?”, I was motivated by distress, but at the same time relieved to break out of a life that promised to become the same old, same old. That doesn’t change just because your income bracket has risen.
Human beings are the only creatures on earth who are able to ask, “Who am I?” thanks to a unique gift, self-awareness. We can look inside and experience subjective reality, the vast domain of the world “in here.” There is no other world, in fact, that allows us to experience the highest values in life: love, compassion, empathy, creativity, insight, truth, beauty, and spiritual awakening.
Thanks to self-awareness, you shouldn’t even need to ask, “Who am I?” You will be pulled toward those higher values automatically. They are by nature blissful and fulfilling. We are designed to be our true selves. No one had to invent love, compassion, and all the rest. So what happened?
Habit, conditioning, family upbringing, trauma, and bad memories happened. These became part of everyone’s story, going back as far as human memory goes. There has never been a time, including right now, when human nature wasn’t divided between our highest ideals and our pain and suffering. It is only realistic to be wary or even scared by self-awareness. Everyone knows the old saying, “Ignorance is bliss.”
But the saying is wrong. Ignorance keeps us in the dark. Only the light of awareness brings healing. The time-honored advice of ancient Greek philosophers, “Know thyself,” isn’t possible without “Heal thyself.” The amazing thing about self-awareness is its healing power. Not enough people realize that or have experienced it.
Now we’re ready to be serious about “Who am I?” There is no blanket answer. Instead, a journey begins. The goal is your true self. Each step of the journey is a daily experience of what the true self is all about. The more you experience this, the closer to your goal you are getting.
In practical terms, the path only asks that you make room for higher experiences. Everyone’s day is dominated by the duties and demands of work and family. Yet no life is so crammed that it lacks room for the following:
Take a moment to express love.
Seek out something beautiful to appreciate.
Be with yourself and find inner calm.
Speak your truth, with kindness, instead of going along.
Make a gesture that shows you are sympathetic to another person’s situation.
Reach out to someone in need.
Look for reasons to cooperate rather than compete.
Listen from the heart.
These suggestions are only a start, but they all express a quality of your true self. They come from your essence. So look upon such moments not as add-ons to your story but as a way to transcend your story. In each case, pause and be aware of what even a small step means. The pleasure you derive is a glimpse of the bliss that is a constant presence at the level of the true self.
All my future posts will expand on this overarching theme. Every kind of meaningful breakthrough, turning point, insight, revelation, or epiphany depends upon self-awareness. No other vision of life is as valuable.
If you feel inspired to do so, you can add this meditation to your day: “I am my true self. In my essence, I find complete fulfillment. I am nourished by bliss, joy, and love.”
Namaste.